Lately I have been thinking about the power & influence of a mother. It is so hard to remember as a mom when the days bleed into one another, tiredness always seems to prevail, mundane tasks never are finished, and you seem to consistently be chasing that feeling of accomplishment or satisfaction in your work. Mothering is never ending. I have to remind myself of that daily & continue to love, be joyful & tell myself this is in fact the most important work there is.
My Grandma recently passed away & for Mother’s day my Mom wanted us to write what we admired or how we felt about Grandma. Here is my letter. I hope my kids will someday read it & that it will help them to understand fully the importance of a Mother.
The things I admired about Grandma. Although I don’t have many one on one memories with her that doesn’t mean she didn’t have an impact on my life or make a strong impression with me. I loved to observe her & loved even more to be around her. There are multiple characteristics that endeared her to me as an individual. I know her life wasn’t easy she fought many battles but she did it with faith, her testimony was never far from her heart…. that was always apparent. She increased her knowledge of the gospel & always sought for truth to strengthen her faith & ease her fears.
We all have that inherent thirst for knowledge & truth. She was able to recognize truth & find comfort because the spirit of God waxed strong within her. Grandma’s passion was the mountains, the ranch…. she felt the most at home there. Her reverence for God’s creations stirred a longing in her for a remembered Heavenly Father. When we are close to God’s works I think we sense our life before with Him & His presence is felt stronger in our lives for that moment. No other peace can be as fulfilling then the felt love of Christ. I think Grandma felt this same peace when she often visited the Temple. Temples were created on this Earth for God to be able to visit earth without being overwhelmed with too much sorrow or virtue taken from Him. God weeps for the bad decisions His children make & I know Grandma felt that same sorrow for those that couldn’t find their way. She always had a special place for them in her heart & strived to help them in every way she could. That service & concerned heart was a gift that endeared her to many. Humor, she knew this life was meant for us to have joy. Humor & joy were never too far from her countenance. Grandma had a style all her own, bright lip stick, silver cuffs & pixie cuts. She was eclectic, surrounded her self with things she loved & didn’t care what others thought. Although she recognized the power of environment- inside & out she never obsessed or held material wealth with much importance.
She found peace in Christ & I hope she has even more now, as more pieces of the puzzle fall into place for her in the spirit world. Her form has changed but I know she is still close. Mom you were blessed with a great Mother as we, all of your children have been as well. We think of & honor both of you today, grateful for the blessing of a loving Mother. Which next to the atonement, could be the most precious blessing in this mortal life.
We have been attending a lot of baptisms lately, many different cousins close in age. Esmae will be 8 next December & I kind of can’t believe it. I have been thinking a lot about how to make her baptism a significant event in her life, something that she will always remember fondly & know that she can lean on that most precious gift she will receive then throughout her life. The rising generation has so much more to face growing up then I did, I know they are strong souls & meant for this difficult period of time. However, as a mother I feel a sense of urgency to help initiate a stronger testimony in them sooner. Expose them to more good & beauty then their hearts can contain. I can physically see the world growing darker & each day how difficult it can become for good people to make good choices in the face of adversity. Adversity will come & for some far more early then seems fair. I know the ONLY power that will heal & comfort my children is from Christ.
As I thought about what I could do for Esmae, for each of my children-I wanted to give them something tangible to relate the gift of the Spirit to, maybe to help their young minds grasp the concept more fully. I thought of a quilt, a handmade work of art that will last them through this lifetime, a thing of beauty created just for them, to provide warmth & comfort. I loved the visual of Esmae at different times in her life when she may be struggling, wrapping her self up in this quilt and thinking of the Holy Ghost for comfort, while offering a prayer up to her Father in Heaven. Of course I wish I could always provide the comfort & reassurance she may need. But I know I am not nearly enough. The sooner I can teach my kids to have faith & turn to Christ, the better off they will be. I am hoping to remember this simple truth each minute of each day I interact with them. I have to remember, no other matter is more important.
So the quilt is being made by a dear friend with amazing skills, unlike any I have seen before. We are doing some trade & I am paying in installments as well. I value art & the existence of handmade beauty in our everyday. Hence I commissioned this quilt a year in advance to ensure it will be paid off & completed for Esmae , I am saving my pennies. Angela, the quilter & I came up with this design of overlaying circles. I use it a lot in my work & is one I have always been drawn to. I love what Angela has done & how it is coming along so far. I also love to watch the progression, and have gained such a respect for this art form.
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I don’t know exactly why but I love this picture. A moment in a strong family with 7 kids, all their personalities coming out at once. This is Josh’s sister Circe & she has 7 kiddos, it’s so much fun to watch.
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Oh man trying to play catch up & waiting for the summer to slow down….
Summer began with Clytie Adam’s recital & ended with a Virginia Tanner dance camp with cousins for Esmae. The rest of us just tagged along.
These little kittens have lost their mittens…..
Love Clytie Adams, always so great.
Next Virginia Tanner dance camp. Esmae did this with all her cousins on the Snow side that live in that salty lake. I have to say every summer she does lessons at Virginia Tanner I fall in love with it all over again. Their philosophy is so great they use & incorporate all the arts into their dance lessons. This camp included music lessons, art (ofcourseiluvthat), & story telling. Their is always a story involved with a moral. I am thinking about driving Esmae out once a week to take there, am I crazy? Maybe, but come one that is like 3 lessons in one! At the end of the week they performed the story from the story book John & the Giants.
Hello, I think Mimi definitely got the performing gene…
Esmae was the King, she says why do I always have to be the boy? The joys of being the tallest my friend, better get used to it.
Love these girls, just missing Char who lives in the great north west. How lucky are they to have so many girly cousins close in age!